Finally an eye remover that's gentle! I always found that gouging my eyes out with a spork hurt a little too much, but now for less than $5 bucks I can remove my eyes gently.
I don't know what this product is, but do not use it for any purpose! Just let the product be. It wants to be alone. So just go away and put it on a shelf.
Am I the only one wondering why a band instrument store is showing a pair of legs with their pants pulled down?? Is there some instrument you play with your crotch? I'm a little worried to find out, especially since they also sell 'used' items. Ick.
This dude must seriously work for Bounty or something. Who the hell says, "I used Bounty, the quicker picker upper!" when describing shoving paper towels into someones bullet wounds? Some dude almost died, but thank god the man with the quicker picker upper was there! And inferior Wal-Mart brand of towel would probably have killed this guy...
I've never been to Wisconsin, but I'm fairly certain North America doesn't have wild elephants roaming around...
Apparently George Bush forgot where his heart was located.. Or else he was just thinking, "Damn it, I'm hungry. When will this shit be over so I can get some KFC?"
Hey, at least this product company is honest and doesn't try to sell too hard. Buy their shitty supplements and 10% of you will be satisfied. The other 90% will realize they just wasted their money on Tic Tacs disguised as vitamins.
Yummy! What a rare delicacy these children are cooking up for our eating pleasure. Grandparent Stew!
This is when you know the Zombie Apocalypse is a real thing...
We sure have some geniuses working at the NTSB huh? They think the crash occurred when the plane hit the actual ground? I'd never figure that out! I'd assume it struck a cloud and burst apart, or ran into a flying dragon or something. But hitting the ground causes a crash? Learn something new every day...
I don't know what food that is, but I'm not anxious to try it. It's spelled wrong, either way you look at it, but I don't want the genitals of Tso's chicken. Pass.
Amazing work this place is doing! Is this like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? Helping you forget unpleasant stuff? "We'll help you forget you ever forgot everything!" So if she forgot she forgot everything, then what does she remember? I'm so confused.
This is SO useful. I practice reading with fake dogs a lot and they just sit there and don't even bark. How am I supposed to learn to read? But a REAL dog could cure my illiteracy in no time!
Ah yes, that timeless gift you give your family. Your funeral. Seriously if your family is this excited about your funeral and consider it a gift, they probably hate your guts. Just saying...
This is what happens when the weather reporter just doesn't give a fuck anymore. "Eh, Monday there will be weather of some sort. Who cares what kind. Look out a window people. Do I have to do everything?" Geesh.
Hope you enjoyed these! I've got enough saved up for several more installments! Aren't these the best? Please comment and/or feel free to share this blog with your friends who like funny stuff!
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