I think today is one of those days where I'm hard pressed to find anything of value to share here. Nothing funny happened, and I barely left the house. My interactions with the world were pretty non existent today. My husband and my son were gone pretty much all day, and when they got back my husband had another migraine so he didn't want to talk to me. My son never talks to me unless its to be rude or annoyed with me for existing. I tried to call my mom because I had just read that her cat died last night. I felt bad and thought I'd cheer her up and at least have someone to talk to myself. But that didn't really work out. She was too invested in her stupid online poker tournament that she's ALWAYS doing now.
I was trying to say stuff to her and I could tell she wasn't listening. And then she just said, "its really hard to talk while I'm trying to concentrate on my tournament." So I just was like, "fine, I'll let you go then." and then I hung up on her. Needless to say today was barren of any sort of interaction with the world. And as I sit here now, alone again, staring at this screen trying desperately to find a good point of the day, I really can't do it. There wasn't one.
When I wasn't just sitting around bored and trying to read something to distract myself, I took a shower, got dressed, and cleaned up the house a little. I vacuumed and got rid of cobwebs that I swear form overnight because they weren't there before. I'm terrible at keeping up with cleaning though. I'm lazy and I get frustrated how dirty things get so quickly afterwards. But that was the highlight of my day. Cleaning cobwebs...
I was listening to my iPod while doing all this and sometimes that makes me happy. I can sing or dance and no one has to see me. But today I didn't feel like dancing really. Every song that came on the shuffle seemed to be a sappy song about love or losing love or never finding love...That is not the sort of music I want to hear. I've come to hate love songs. At least the happy ones. Because I don't believe in love anymore. I mean, I do believe people love other people in certain ways....but real love? That be all, end all emotion that everyone wants to find and experience? It don't believe in it anymore. It's not a real thing. That's why for every sappy happy love song, you'll hear 10 more about how love sucks and your heart is broken and he or she trampled on your soul and left you nothing but an empty shell. Am I wrong?
I was listening to Avril Lavigne's song, Happy Ending...that's really the story of love right there. Certainly every experience I've ever had with it....
You were everything, everything,
That I wanted.
We were meant to be, supposed to be,
But we lost it.
All the memories so close to me
Just fade away…
All this time you were pretending…
So much for my happy ending.
So this is where my head was at all day. Nothing humorous or funny about that. Nothing tragic or funny even happened when I was sucking up angry spiders with my vacuum along with their ugly webs. If one of them fell on me, that could have been a funny story. But alas, they died quickly and were no match for my rickety old vacuum that's held together with duct tape.
And now I'm just sitting here typing away, trying to pass the time. Hoping for something to get me out of this funk. This blog wasn't supposed to be heavy and was only supposed to be funny, but I guess I can't be funny everyday right? Maybe tomorrow I'll have something better to write? Fingers crossed....
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