I love wine, but I'm pretty picky about what I'll drink. It has to be red and it has to be cheap. See, I'm not a connoisseur but a wino, so obviously I don't know what a good wine is supposed to taste like. But let me just say, my $5 bottles of Cabernet do not taste like cat pee. Maybe that's supposed to be a good thing? But I'll still to my cheap stuff without essence of cat piss, thank you.
I don't know how well you can read this, but it's congratulating this man for pleasing 15 women for an entire day! "we were all exhausted and very satisfied..." Uh, wow, George Brownbridge is a machine! Wait, they printed an apology retraction. He just took them shopping. Well I don't know about you, but I'd rather go shopping anyway.
Mmmm, yummy. Beef round thing slices! Who doesn't love those? They have no idea what the hell they are, but they're fairly certain they're made of beef. But I'm not sure I can trust that something called 'thing slices' are a food I'd wanna try...
Another yummy! Eat kids free! But only on Monday's. That's when they get the new shipment of kindergartners in. Bring a knife and fork! I wonder if this is what the 'thing slices' are made of?
Arnie is pretty intimidating. If he was standing in a window watching me for hours and hours, I'd be worried too. If he wasn't made of freaking cardboard! Talk about the laugh the police must have gotten when they went to talk to the perp only to find out it was made of cardboard...
What is with all these places and things offering Mammograms?? This is at least the third ad I've posted that mentions them. Now you can get your boobs checked while you pump gas and buy a Slushie? That's a full service station!
Doesn't this just make you wanna run out and work at Subway? My dreams are already crushed, thank you very much. I don't need a job that makes me wanna jump off a bridge!
I would really like to know how freaking BIG this burrito was, and what exactly it was made of, to be mistaken for a newborn baby. I mean, huh? How? Was the person reporting this travesty legally blind or forgot their Coke bottle glasses that day? Chipotle has some big ass burritos, but they aren't as big as a baby. Plus they don't have faces and shit either. WTF? Bet the cops were super relieved but also annoyed like, "Are you even fucking serious?" when they saw the burrito.
Here's a wonderful ad for a lovely china cabinet. It has some cat scratches, but don't worry, the cat has been killed for it's crimes. And you know when you kill a cat, any scratches it made on something totally disappear. That's the magic of cats. Ugh. Some people. Poor kitty. He can keep the stupid cabinet!
I'm so glad I found this ad. My collection of old people was really small and this guy is selling the whole lot of them! I can't wait to see all those grandmas and grandpas sitting on my shelves....
Please come to the Cook County Forest Preserve and bring the family to commune with nature. Just watch out for the occasional corpse lying around. You can always just scoot that to the side and lay out your picnic, right?
I wouldn't doubt it. Don't all men? But doesn't he have a horde of bimbos playing with them for him?
That's all folks! I'm outta Ads. I hope you got a good laugh.
No comments:
Post a Comment