My life as a witch

So it's been years and years since I've bothered to write a blog. After all, who really reads this shit? Probably no one. But here I am tonight, filled with nostalgia and idea that won't seem to leave my brain. My life as of late, has sucked beyond the telling of it. I won't go into details, but just trust me when I say, it both sucks and blows at the same time. Which sometimes makes me think of life in general and my past and where I came from and who exactly I've met along the way on this journey of life.

I remember a day back in the spring of 1989. I was in gym class, just sitting there, because me and gym didn't really mix. I refused to do anything that might make me sweat or ruin my hair. This girl came up to me out of the blue and saw the crystal necklace I was wearing. She asked me, "so, are you a witch too?" and I was highly confused and asked her what she meant. Then she told me she was in fact a witch and that the pendant I wore was for protection and luck. I thought she was a little bit weird, yet, I was highly intrigued. I invited her to sit with me, and immediately we struck up a friendship. She told me all sorts of things about witchcraft and being an honest to God witch, when I never even knew such fantastical things existed. But she wanted to teach me everything she knew. And I let her.

We spent forever together, buying spell books, crystals, wands. The whole deal. She was going to teach me about magic. And yeah, yeah, some of you will say, "magic isn't real!' but it is. It exists. It's just nothing like what you see in movies or read in books. And this was my life. We performed spells together, rituals, we delved deeply into the art of witchcraft and we actually got so carried away we wanted to start our own religion. We were power hungry idiots, but with good hearts. My new name was Shoshanna and she was called the Crystal Queen. And we worshiped these two icons at school who were twins, and we named Toby and Tim. I haven't a clue what they're real names were. But this became our life. We contacted spirits and we delved into our past lives. We were the very best of friends, and no one else could touch us. People were afraid of us. We were the oddballs and the weirdos. But we didn't care.

We traveled around to various witchcraft stores and metaphysical shops. We had books upon books, and we even had our own Grimoire.  Which for the layperson, means, a book of magical spells and texts. We had a special spot that no one knew of, deep in the woods, by a river, and we'd often go there to call on the elements or connect to the spirit world. Let me tell you, I've never experienced such things before or since. It was truly intense and magical. I felt powerful. Almost invincible. And extraordinarily connected with the earth and everything around me.

I know, you're thinking, wow, this chick is way more of a nutter than I realized! But I swear I'm not crazy. And all of this happened. Things I can't even put in words, because they were so powerful. And my connection with her, fueled it all. She's the one who taught me this stuff. She's one who showed me my power. But as any witch knows, the first rule, harm no one. And we never did. We were good witches. Even if a bit crazy and out of touch. We never wanted to harm anyone. We just wanted to awaken our powers. And that we did.

But we were reckless too. So reckless, that we unleashed an entity that was obsessed with me and followed me wherever I went. It would demand to speak to me through a Ouija board. It desired my presences above all else. And I was it's puppet, because I obeyed. He told me things that no one could possibly ever know. And he warned me of things to come. All of this I wrote down in my journal. And years later, the events I was warned about, actually did come to pass. It sounds ridiculous, but it honestly happened. She's my witness. Although, these days, she would never stand up say so.

We eventually graduated school and she wrote the most beautiful entry in my yearbook. She told me she loved me, and that I was her sister, and that we would never ever be parted, no matter what. She promised we were eternal, and that our bond was sacred. Blood sisters. Both witches. Both magical. Both powerful beyond anyone else's grasp.

But then she moved away. And my life went another direction. But I never lost my faith in my beliefs and I was fortunate enough to meet a person who also claimed to be a witch. But my dear friend who introduced me to the life, she got lost on the way. Last I heard, she'd denounced all her old friends and 'evil' ways, and now is a fundamentalist Christian. I was deeply saddened. That's not the girl I knew and loved. Where did my friend go? No one really knows, except her, but she won't have contact with me any longer. And it's been so many years now. We don't know each other. And our lives are vastly different.

I won't ever forget her though. All she taught me. How she picked me from a crowd of strangers and saw a kindred. We were soul sisters. And though life has dealt me many blows that shake my faith, I still identify myself as a witch above all else. Perhaps I don't practice the way I used to. But I know what I was born to be. I've led a colorful life, mostly in my teen years. I have stories, no one would even believe. But they were real. They happened to me. And even if I lost my friend to what I call the 'Dark Side' I won't ever forget our bond.

Nights like these, I just wish to travel back in time to when I was so young and eager to learn. I was unformed, unmolded, not besmirched with the horrors life hands us. I was an innocent. And sometimes, I miss those days of youth. But I'm getting old now. Older than I wish. And I guard my secrets well from people. Everyone already thinks I'm crazy, and I know this story sounds crazy too. But I speak the absolute truth. I miss my friend. The Crystal Queen. You are forever in my heart, even if you're lost to me now. Thank you for showing me who I really was.