Some of my most random thoughts:
When the first person on earth got tired and started falling asleep, do you think they were freaked out and thought they might be dying or something?
Who in the world decided that humans should drink cow's milk? No other mammals drink milk outside their species, nor do they drink it once they're not babies anymore either. And who picked a cow out of every other milk producing animal? Sure people do drink goats milk, occasionally, but universally it's cow milk. Why? How?
How come when you're at a restaurant and the waiter/waitress tells you, "Be careful, the plate is hot!" The first thing you do is touch the plate?
How it is possible to go to sleep one day and then wake up the next day with a five inch long hair sprouting out of your chin? Where did that come from?
Why is it socially acceptable, and considered hilarious to most of us, to give our cats catnip, which is basically cat pot, and watch them get stoned and run into things and lick the furniture? Yet people don't give their toddler's a blunt, and sit around laughing at them doing the same thing? Pet's are our children too. And if you have a dog as well, do you think they get jealous that they can't get high with the cat?
Why do some public restrooms have automatic flush toilets, that inevitably flush the instant you shift your body even slightly? And then they flush with such ferocity, you get splashed in the cooter with herpes infested Wal-Mart bathroom toilet water? Just let us flush when we're ready! And why such a violent torrent of water anyway? Do they think we're trying to flush a Chihuahua down that toilet?
And on that same note, why are the automatic faucets so difficult to turn on? You wave your hands under there fifty times, like you're performing a magic trick, and then when it finally comes on, it turns off after fifteen seconds and you're still all soapy and have to perform the trick again. And again...
Why is when you're in a hurry and running late, you get every red light? But if you're early or dying to stop so you can send a text or something, you get nothing but green lights?
Why do they even have directions on bottles of shampoo or soap? Is there anyone out there who doesn't grasp this concept and needs actual directions? On one bottle of hand soap it actually said, "Squirt into hands. Use as normal soap." Wow, thanks for that advice. I thought it was magical soap for a minute. That could have been embarrassing.
If Adam and Eve were a true story, and we were all borne from them, not only would it be like Game of Thrones, where everyone is inbred, but how did we end up with a world full of different races and colors of people? That's literally impossible. Two white people can't have an African American baby together. Nor could two Asian people have a white baby. Give it some thought. It makes no sense.
How is it that you can be so lost in thought and completely distracted, that you end up driving twenty miles to a place, and have no idea how you got there? Like you have no literal memory of the trip or whether you stopped for lights, or changed lanes, etc. Suddenly you're just there. Kinda freaky and disturbing.
How come sometimes we're so stupid, we spend hours looking for our keys, our phones, our glasses, only to find out we've either been wearing the glasses, holding the keys, or actually calling people on our phone to ask them if they've seen our phone. Humans are morons sometimes. And we've all done it! Don't lie.
Why did this trend start on social media, where everyone takes pictures of their food and posts it for all their friends see? I don't get it. Maybe if it's something really super amazing and fancy and looks like a work of art, but why do I need to see your spaghetti or your chicken McNuggets? It's almost passive aggressive, like, "See this delicious meal I'm eating and you weren't invited to come eat with me! Starve suckers!"
How strange are our brains, that we can hit the snooze button, and have a dream that seems to last for three hours, in only nine minutes?
Why does three hours pass SO slowly when you're at work, and SO incredibly fast, when you're doing nothing?
Does a watched pot ever actually boil? I don't think it does. It doesn't like to be stared at and therefore will not perform for you. Stop looking at it!
How come arm and leg hair just stop growing at a certain point? But your head hair and a beard will just keep growing and growing forever? You never see men with five feet of leg or armpit hair, but they can have five foot beards...
Does anyone ever really pay attention to the serving size on a bag of chips? To the chip Gods, we should be eating like four chips and be done. But who eats only four chips and is happy with that? A bag of Doritos in my house lasts maybe two hours and it's gone.
Why do bottles of sleeping pills have a warning on them that says, "Caution, may cause drowsiness." Well they fucking better. They're sleeping pills!
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And that's all the randomness I have for today...hope you enjoyed. And feel free to share your own random thoughts with me as well.
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